The Cockroach of The County

American cockroach. Photo from Wikipedia--not of actual roach at polling place.

After a meeting last night, my son and I stopped at our polling place to vote. Rather, I stopped to vote and my son had to go with me because he is eight.

When we walked into the School 42 gym (the place where we vote), the election inspectors were in a tizzy. There was a cockroach on the wall. Mind you, this was not just a cockroach. It was freakin' HUGE! This sucker had to be at least three to four inches long and very fat. Of course, my son and I had to walk up to it and look at it because it was so big. I then got my ballot and proceeded to vote.

Meanwhile, the roach caused hysteria.

One of the poll workers jumped up, grabbed her purse and screamed, "Oh, Lordy! It's gonna fly into my purse! I just know it is! And then I'm gonna end up bringing that sucker home!"

I tried to concentrate on my ballot. At one point, I turned around to watch the action. One of the election inspectors had the school janitor hitting the roach with a broom. "Oh, Lordy! He's going free! He's going free!," the poll worker screamed.

The janitor hit the cockroach behind some mats by the stage in the gym. The election inspectors gathered by the mats, watching, what I assumed, was the roach's demise. I say "assumed" because we didn't stick around to see what happened.

Of course, on the way home, my head was itchy because I kept thinking about the roach and became paranoid that it was crawling on me. I was totally skeeved out.

As on every Election Day, my husband stayed up late to watch the returns. I didn't stay up. I was sure of the verdict: the Giant Cockroach of 42 School was going to win ALL the elections--mayor, sheriff, judge, school board, etc. Otherwise, why would it be trying to sway the vote on Election Day?

Afterword: If the roach was indeed trying to sway the vote, it would have been doing something illegal. One cannot campaign within a certain distance of a polling place.