How My Brain Works And My Experience as Mrs. Claus

You may notice this is the second The Simpsons video I've posted in a row. I will let you in on a little secret why: my internal dialog is pretty much The Simpsons clips.

This clip has been going through my head for the last few days.

Also, the older I get, the more I can relate to Homer Simpson.*

Just sayin'.

I was going to write about my experiences as Mrs. Claus this past weekend. It was...interesting. If you are friends with me on Facebook, you may have noticed a photo of Mrs. Claus holding a bearded dragon in your newsfeed.

Perhaps you wondered how bearded dragons became part of Christmas. Here's what happened:

This was my second year of being Mrs. Claus. I really enjoy playing Mrs. Claus: I get to do overly-dramatic reading of Christmas stories, get kids singing Christmas songs and make up stories about life at the North Pole ("So you think I'm too young to be Mrs. Claus? I'm Santa's trophy wife.") It's a lot of fun and gets me into the Christmas spirit.

This year, the place where I "Claus around" invited people to bring their pets to be photographed with Mrs. Claus. One woman brought in her bull dog, a ferret (NOT on a harness--this becomes an important plot point), her two sons and a bearded dragon. As Mrs. Claus, I take everything with grace, including a bearded dragon that was handed to me while the mom decided to battle with her child to have his photo taken. The child didn't want his photo taken; he had come on the trip under the impression that the family was picking out a Christmas tree. The mother decided to try to force the son to take the photo. By this time, the kid was in tears. So I said, "You know, it's okay if he doesn't want to get his photo taken with Mrs. Claus."

The mother snapped, "Well, it's not okay with me. He's going to get his photo taken!"

The poor kid kept crying. I walked over to him, bent down and said, "Both Santa and I know you've been a good boy this year." Then I walked away from the mom and kid. Mind you, I was holding the bearded dragon throughout the whole episode.

Meanwhile, the other son was in charge of the ferret. The ferret got lose, emptied its bladder and pooped on the floor, and went into hiding under a piece of furniture. As one of the employees cleaned up after the ferret said, "I didn't know such a small animal had so much in it." The older son, aided by another child who was in the store, finally retrieved the ferret. Mind you, I'm still holding the bearded dragon.

Finally, the mother decided to get a photo of the one son, the dog, the ferret, the bearded dragon and me. I then get to give up the bearded dragon, which I had been carrying around in the way Dr. Evil carries around his hairless cat.

 Notice the similarities? I feel that because I am dressed in a ridiculous costume, I could be on my way to super-villainy.

*This is related to the topic, but I didn't write a transition into this thought.